My guru used to say: “Never think of yourself as small.’
And that’s good advice.. Because we’re all divine beings who are manifestations of God.
At the same time, we all have these weaknesses and failings and egos.
.
That’s the major quandary on the spiritual path I guess.
Trying to separate our divine traits from our mundane traits.
Hate Man heckling Rev. Chuck on the Berkeley campus around 1993, surrounded by a big crowd of onlookers, as usual. Hate Man used to mimic Rev. Chuck. If Chuck stood on a chair, Hate Man stood on a crate. If Chuck sat down, Hate Man sat down. If Chuck paced back and form, Hate Man paced back and forth.
One of the odd things about Rev. Chuck was his obsession with sodomy. Virtually every one of his sermons featured a long harangue on the mortal sin of sodomy, often going into graphic detail. According to the theology of Rev. Chuck, the sin of sodomy was a sure-fire way to earn eternal damnation in the fires of Hell.
The odd thing was, I don’t ever remember Jesus even mentioning sodomy in the Bible. And to my knowledge He never once expounded on the Gospel According to Anal Sex. But one thing was for sure. Rev. Chuck had spent a LOT of time thinking long and hard about the subject of sodomy. And there was probably a reason for that.
“OK class, open up your 40 of OE and turn to page 12 of your Twisted Image…..”
Witnessed an odd scene yesterday. . . Walking down Durant Avenue I passed this young woman who was wearing this VERY short, pink skirt. It was so short, it barely covered her bottom. Out of curiosity — and because I’m a dull, brute human male who’s ruled by his baser instincts and emotions — I turned and watched her as she walked up the street. In fact, her skirt was so short, it didn’t even cover the bottom part of her bottom. And you could clearly see that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Well sir, THAT got my attention!
Then she stopped in front of this apartment building and stood there for a couple of minutes, apparently calling someone on her cell phone (that’s her on the left hand side of the photo). After a short while, somebody came out of the front door of the building. And she rushed up the front steps and disappeared into the building with the person
That’s odd?? I thought. And I spent a little time trying to figure out what that scenario was all about. . . At first I thought, maybe she’s a prostitute. And the person in the apartment building had hired her for a tryst. . . But that didn’t make sense. Somebody engaging in illegal activities in the middle of a quiet residential area, would be much more discreet, and, wouldn’t go around calling attention to themselves in that manner. So the whole thing was puzzling.
But that’s often what it’s like living on the streets, spending a lot of time living in public among your fellow human beings. You witness many odd scenes like this. It’s like you’re constantly walking into the middle of other people’s movies. And you often see the second act of these dramas. But you don’t see the first act, or the third act. So you often feel like a detective searching for clues, trying to figure out what the hell is going on as best you can. But mostly you’re just guessing. . .
Anyways, later that night I’m hanging out late at night at this outdoor patio on the campus charging my cellphone. When I hear some kind of loud commotion going on off in the distance. People yelling and shouting and carrying on. And whatever is going on, it’s moving towards my direction. So I’m bracing myself for any possible trouble. It turned out — to my surprise — it’s about 50 scantily clad young women. Many of them wearing skimpy halter tops, or just brassieres. And they’re all laughing and shouting and having a good old time. And as they all marched past me, I noticed about 10 of the women had boxes over their heads and they couldn’t see where they were going. So the other women, this mob of women, were sort of leading them along, like captured slaves or something. And they all marched past me and disappeared off into the distance.
And again I thought: That’s odd. . . Until it occurred to me: It’s probably some kind of sorority initiation thing, where they’re hazing the new recruits. . . And maybe that’s what the deal was with the woman with the short skirt and her ass hanging out, earlier in the day. So it all sort of all made sense now.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t help thinking: These college kids nowadays with their campus hijinks. Back when I was a kid we jammed ourselves into phone booths and ate live goldfish for kicks! Damn straight!!
I fucked up so many times in so many different ways during the course of my life. I’m now filled with regret and remorse.
When I was younger I thought I was hot shit. I was a bit of an egomaniac on an ego trip. And I often fancied I was this Great Man.
But nowadays I’m in a more humble position. I’ve been humbled and humiliated by Life plenty. So I no longer feel like some hotshot that’s on top of it all.
I miss those days when I thought I was hot shit.
(I still don’t understand what this AI thing is. What it’s about. And how it works. But one of my Facebook friends tried to explain it to me by submitting my name “Ace Backwords” to the AI app. And it spewed out this)
Ace: You might not be aware of AI, but it is certainly familiar with you… I asked ChatGPT this… “Write me a documentary style article about Ace Backwards” … It wrote this in about 6 seconds…
ChatGPT
Ace Backwords: The Art of Revealing Life on the Margins
Ace Backwords is a writer and cartoonist who has made a name for himself with his autobiographical comics and zines. Born in California in the 1960s, Backwords grew up in a dysfunctional family and struggled with drug addiction and homelessness for much of his young adult life. It was during this time that he began creating comics as a way to document his experiences and connect with others who shared his struggles.
In the early 1990s, Backwords began publishing his work in underground zines and alternative newspapers, such as The San Francisco Bay Guardian and Maximum Rocknroll. His comics, which often touched on topics such as addiction, mental illness, and homelessness, resonated with readers who saw their own experiences reflected in Backwords’ raw and unflinching portrayal of life on the margins of society.
Backwords’ comics are notable for their honesty and authenticity. He is not afraid to reveal the darker aspects of his life, including his struggles with addiction and mental health issues. But his work is not just a catalogue of personal struggles. It is also a celebration of the creativity and resilience of those who live on the fringes of society. Backwords’ characters are often outsiders, misfits, and rebels who are fiercely independent and determined to live life on their own terms.
One of Backwords’ most famous comics is “The Adventures of the Homeless Guy,” a series that chronicles his experiences living on the streets of San Francisco. The comic is notable for its vivid portrayal of the gritty and often dangerous world of homelessness, as well as its unflinching critique of the social and economic forces that contribute to homelessness.
Despite the often bleak subject matter of his work, Backwords’ comics are infused with humor and a sense of hope. His characters are survivors who refuse to be defined by their circumstances, and his comics are a testament to the power of art to transform even the most difficult experiences into something meaningful and beautiful.
Today, Ace Backwords continues to publish his comics and zines, and his work has been collected in several anthologies, including “The Worst of Ace Backwords” and “The Ace Backwords Reader.” His comics have been exhibited in galleries and museums around the world, and he is considered one of the most important voices in the underground comics scene.
Ace Backwords’ art is a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there is beauty to be found, and that the most profound truths are often revealed by those who live on the margins of society. His work is a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and an inspiration to anyone who has ever felt like an outsider.
“We’re here on Earth to fart around.” — Kurt Vonnegut
Vonnegut was one of those writers that seemed really profound to me when I was 17. And I read and re-read all of his paperbacks. . . But after that, I lost interest in Vonnegut.
Slaughterhouse 5 was probably my favorite. I read and re-read that one multiple times. A fun read. Billy Pilgrim. Unstuck in time. “So it goes.” He even references the historian David Irving re the bombing of Dresden.
Mother Night was another good one. An interesting take on racial issues. And the profound line: “Be careful who you pretend to be. Because that’s who you become.”
God Bless You Mr Rosewater was another fun read. Vonnegut had a gift to play around with various philosophical concepts while delivering a fun story line as a novelist
This morning at this cafe the cashier accidentally gave me back $10 too much in change. For a split-second I considered just pocketing the money and not saying anything. But then I said: “uh, I think you gave me back too much money.” She looked at the receipt and said: “Oh, you’re right.” I handed her back the dough. And then she had to figure out how to correct the mistake she had made on their records. Finally, after much confusion, she called the owner from the back room. And, after some time, he was finally able to sort out the problem and rectify the situation. . . .Meanwhile, a long line of people have lined up behind me, waiting to make their orders. And they’re sort of grumbling at me, because I’ve wasted 10 minutes of their time and they assume I’m somehow the cause of the problem. So I didn’t even score any points for my act of honesty.
As I’m leaving the place, I’m sort of pissed. Regretting that I didn’t just take the money. . . Sometimes I actually will just take the money when they accidentally give me too much. Figuring it just evens out all the times when they accidentally give me too little money. So I suppose I practice “situational ethics.”
But I hate it when I do the right thing, and I just end up feeling worse for doing it.
Ace Backwords 